stfuconservatives:

Judge recommends Xbox 360 ban in the US. Barack Obama may have final say. NO REALLY

je-suis-blue:

the-wolfbats:

stfuconservatives:

Microsoft and Motorola are having a patent dispute. The International Trade Commission judge has recommended that until the matter is solved, imports of the XBOX 360 Slim models (which contain the technology that the dispute is about) should be stopped and we should ban their sale in stores. The ITC has to decide whether the recommendation is sound. If they do, the POTUS will have the final decision.

Suggested Fox News headlines:

BARACK OBAMA TO BAN ALL VIDEO GAMES

OBAMA’S DECISION SMALL “CONSOLE”-ATION TO GAMERS

MITT ROMNEY: “I LOVE XBOX, THE CONTROLLERS ARE JUST THE RIGHT SIZE”

OBAMA TO END FUN FOREVER?

“X ON THE BOX - WAR ON HOME ENTERTAINMENT”

And when he decides not to ban XBoxes

“OBAMA - MICRO’SOFT’ ON PATENT INFRINGEMENT”

In case you ever need to brighten your day: Best of Olivia Wilde’s Twitter

obscure-affection:

Is it wrong that the only time I’ve been in the gym in the last month is to buy peanut butter smoothies? I try my best to lunge in and out.

A mosquito just bit my ass so hard it almost felt good. Except now I can’t sit down without a hemroid pillow. #thanksmaryland

Wait I forgot- running smack into a blind man while texting - good luck or bad luck?

Auto-correct strikes again. My phone turns “fed” into “F’ed” which is awkward when telling my roommate I gave the dog his food.

Woot woot! Teen Choice Awards Nomination whaaaat? So awesome. Thank you guys very much. I’m glad teens like Dr. shows and not just porn.

I know I’m in new york when I find myself at Sing Sing at 3am karaoke-ing my balls off with a bunch of beautiful strangers…and pizza.

in a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

AAND my favorite:

Glad the rapture didn’t happen since I just got waxed.

I’d like to add a few more that I personally found quite enjoyable:

When 3 different people tell me the local Thai place is “so good it’s like crack” I start to wonder if Annapolis parties too hard.

Just saw the saddest man alive, riding on the back of his girlfriend’s tiny pink Vespa while she yelled “Hon, not so tight!”

Mitt Romney on Planned Parenthood: “We’re going to get rid of that.” BACK THE F OFF MY RIGHTS, WILLARD. #Obama2012

I wonder how many accidents have been caused by car-aoke Whitney tributes this week.

Nothing makes a girl feel special like a homeless man screaming “now those some hips!” as she walk by.

Vegas, day 2. Spent 45 mins lost inside hotel. Beginning to show signs of dementia due to neon overexposure and piped-in nitrous. Send help.

I bet Romney’s mad that bone structure wasn’t a factor tonight. I mean that family could shred meat on their faces.

Today’s one of those days when I can’t stop smiling at people in the street. I’m gonna get knifed. But nyc has never been so pretty!

sometimes i have good ideas, like going to see the Black Keys. and then sometimes i decide to eat dinner while watching Contagion. doh.

the list can go on all night, people.

(Source: beneaththewillowtree)